Tales of the Cocktail is an assault on the senses. As I browse the writings of my fellow boozebloggers, I marvel at how they can so effectively distill the deluge of information that is TotC into clear, well-structured prose. I find it truly amazing that these people can participate full-tilt in the events, and simultaneously generate organized, concise posts day after day.

This is something that is very difficult for me to do. Writing on-the-fly is not my strong suit, so I find that my approach generally consists of wandering around like a 2-legged sponge, trying to absorb as much info as possible, collecting glimpses and impressions for later review. I take copious mental and physical notes as well as the occasional photo, and what I end up with at week’s end is a heap of loosely-themed tidbits. Someday I may develop the ability to bang out well-crafted reportage in the field, but until then I can only offer…

Random Observations

- The selection of alcohol in the Swag Speakeasy is better than any of the liquor stores in the entire state of Pennsylvania.

- If you’ve never experienced the running of the bulls in Spain, you can get a very good approximation by standing in the Monteleone lobby between sessions.

- I don’t know who the comically inebriated character at the Beefeater welcome reception was supposed to be, but I heard him referred to as “Drunken Monopoly Guy” , and that works for me.

- It is permissible to ambush a cocktail luminary for purposes of conversation, autographs, photos, etc., while they are waiting for the elevator. It is not acceptable to do so when they are attempting to emerge unrecognized from a Bourbon Street sex show.

- In New Orleans during Tales of the Cocktail, it is considered completely normal to snap 17 photographs of your drink before taking the first sip.

- Elixir Vegetal is surprisingly plentiful for something that is not supposed to officially exist in the U.S.

- No matter how jaded a cocktail enthusiast you may be, having your drink chilled by a 200-year-old chunk of Alaskan glacier ice is damn cool.

- I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one who suffers from “Business Card Alzheimer’s” (The phenomenon you experience when you go back through the stack of cards you collected throughout Tales and realize you have no idea who at least a third of these people are).

- Camper knows everyone.

- Everyone knows Rocky.

- I’m fairly certain Meyer’s hat store has to replenish the bulk of its inventory following Tales.

- It was a wonderful space, but I’m not sure having the bloggers’ reception in a high-end antique gallery was a wise move. Tipsy nerds + expensive breakables = anxiety.

- Any dive bar that has Ultravox on the jukebox immediately places itself a few notches above the competition.

-The prospect of obtaining Angostura orange bitters can drive even the most serene person into a babbling frenzy.

- The rooftop deck at the Monteleone is probably the only place in the world where you will find Bols Genever poolside.

- I anticipate an epic showdown between clean-shaven cocktail enthusiasts and those with facial hair. The results will determine the future of drinking on planet Earth for millenia.

- In New Orleans you can walk 20 feet and encounter 40 smells.

- If Matt Robold and Matthew Rowley joined forces, they could dominate the entire voice-over industry within 30 days.

- Everyone in the media suite looks like an air-traffic controller 3 days into a bender.

- People who use Kold-Draft ice are not in a cult. But we do have some very nice brochures and are happy to show you around the compound anytime.

- I don’t trust any female bartender that doesn’t have at least 3 tattoos.

- Anyone who starts their day with a hot cup of coffee and a steaming pastry in a city where the temperature hits 90 before 10 am is a very special kind of crazy. However, anyone who starts their day with a gin tasting is my kind of people.

- PowerPoint and booze are like peanut butter and jelly.

- I don’t know if all meals in New Orleans take 3 hours, but that sort of thing certainly does go a long way toward cultivating a relaxed attitude toward the day.

-The ladies love Stan.

- If you know the secret route to the top floor of the Monteleone, keep your mouth shut…or else everyone will know about it.

-The person with the most lanyards wins.

- If you want to utterly bring Tales of the Cocktail to its knees and cause instant blind panic among attendees, fire off a device that will disable every iPhone within a one-mile radius of the Monteleone.

- Gatorade and Tylenol PM: the most important meal of the day.

- I defy anyone to have a Bloody Mary at Attiki and claim they’ve had a better one elsewhere.

- Optimus Prime is undeniably awesome, but a bar that can fold up into a suitcase is sheer brilliance.

- if you are attacked by a brand rep, the best course of action is to drop to the ground in a fetal position and cover your head and neck with your hands. Remain motionless. Once they have left their business card behind, it is usually safe to begin moving again.

- Last year most people seemed to come into town on Wednesday. This year Tuesday was apparently the preferred day to arrive. I figure in about 3 years everyone will show up on Memorial Day.

- If you have even a vague idea what “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” is, it’s a good bet you stopped by the Mixo house at some point.

- Sometimes you just need a beer.

I recently had the chance to shoot the breeze with Philip Ward, head bartender/bar manager at Death & Company in New York. He‘ll be one of the good fellows enlightening us at “The Three Amigos: The Three Most Important Drinks You Need to Know and Why” presentation.

Philip was kind enough to let me hit him with a quick handful of questions concerning classic recipes, current drink trends, personal favorites and of course, the Three Amigos…

What initially got you interested in classic drinks, their history, and how to make them properly?

It was chance, really. I got the opportunity to live in New York for month, subletting an apartment. During that time, I had a job as a barback at the Flatiron Lounge and got to see all these wonderful drinks I’d never encountered before being crafted. The idea of researching and making all these classic drinks really hooked me. It was a type of creativity that was satisfying in a way I hadn’t experienced with other mediums. Also, the chance to open people’s eyes to new things was very appealing.

What do you find are the biggest misconceptions about classic drinks?

How to make them. There are a lot of people who are making classic drinks that exist in name only. For example, they’re making things like Manhattans and Martinis using the wrong ingredients and the wrong proportions. This occurred over time of course, with people using pre-made mixes rather than fresh ingredients, and the drinks gradually became something completely different than what they originally were.

What is your favorite go-to drink?

If I’m going to your average bar, I’ll get a gin & soda with extra lime…that way I can kind of make my own Gin Rickey. If I’m going somewhere where they take their drink-making seriously, I’ll get a Negroni on the rocks.

What drinks or drink families are currently popular?

I’m seeing a lot of interest in strong, stirred drinks. A lot of my customers are moving away from the sour-based, citrusy, shaken drinks and venturing into simpler drinks that have fewer ingredients but require more skill to make…simplicity is the easiest thing to screw up.

What “forgotten” drink category would you like to see make a comeback?

Punch. Punch is a glorious, beautiful thing- when it’s right, it’s delicious. It has a fantastic texture in the mouth, and the combination of the juices, spirits and water is great. We’ve been serving a lot of punch in a traditional Victorian service, and it’s really popular. Punch was the original cocktail, and all mixed drinks are in some way or another descended from it, so more people should be aware of it and enjoying it.

Is there a specific spirit or drink that deserves more recognition?

Tequila. I’m very fond of it, and it’s so versatile. I like to take drink recipes apart and replace certain ingredients with others while keeping the basic template intact, and Tequila works great for that- The different styles and ages can be worked into a lot of recipes. I’d say about a quarter of the drinks we’re serving right now are tequila-based. I see a big future for it.

Also, Mezcal is a great spirit when used well. It’s not just vulgar stuff with a worm in the bottle.

Any hints as to what specific drinks you’ll be presenting?

We’ll be presenting 3 drinks…and one will be punch!

The Three Amigos: The Three Most Important Drinks You Need to Know and Why takes place Friday, July 18 from 2:30-4:00 p.m. at the Hotel Monteleone. Tickets can be purchased here.