As someone who has been to my share of trade shows and conferences, I can tell you that the phrase “convention lunch” is enough to strike fear into the heart of the boldest traveler.

But this is Tales of the Cocktail, which is about as un-convention-al as it gets. You can count on a good time in the seminars, tasting rooms, and party rooms, and then stroll out to some seriously good food.

beignets

Yesterday was the perfect example. We rolled out of bed, still on Pacific Time and fuzzy from the previous night’s festivities, cleaned up a bit, and then hit the bricks, aiming for the river, Cafe du Monde, and beignets with cafe au lait. The beignets come three to a plate, snuggled into a pile of powdered sugar that looks like nothing so much as the scene in the third act of Scarface where Tony Montana plunges his face into a mountain of cocaine. Instead of our noses, we plunged our beignets into the fluffy white mound while a singing, trumpet-playing entertainer performed “Down by The Riverside,” “Danny Boy,” and other feats of musical daring for the amusement of passers-by.

Johnny's Po-Boys

On our way back to the hotel, our eyeballs vibrating ever so slightly from the sugar buzz, we realized that our “lunch” break wouldn’t come until 2:30, and that we needed something a bit more substantial to carry us through the day. So, we stopped at Johnny’s Po-Boys and split an egg and bacon po’boy, washed down with a couple of Barq’s root beer sodas. Mother’s may get more attention, but for our money, Johnny’s is the spot. It’s a place of wonderful mysteries. How do they manage to get the rolls to be tender, chewy, and flaky all at the same time? How can they offer fried chicken with a homemade biscuit and white gravy for $2.50 a plate? And how am I going to manage to get here enough times this week, given all the other great places that we’ll be eating at?

Back at Tales, we soaked up some knowledge and tasted some spirits, but I have to admit that I was already looking forward to our next food foray. We roped in Marshall from Scofflaw’s Den and headed back into the Quarter, aiming for Central Grocery and its famous muffuletas.

Central Grocery muffuletta

I had my first Central Grocery muffuletta at last year’s Tales, and it was a madhouse. There was a line out the door, and every horizontal surface was staked out by someone eagerly devouring one of the sandwiches. Today, there were no crowds, which made the lunchtime experience much more civilized. But even if it were wall-to-wall people, it wouldn’t have mattered. If there’s anything wrong with loving a sandwich the size and shape of a hubcap, spread with oily, tangy olive salad and filled with all sorts of good things (salami, capicola, and provolone, just to name a few), I don’t want to be right.

The best part? The day wasn’t over, much less the week. We have got to get to Green Goddess, and there’s a slew of other stuff on the schedule. And no matter where we are I’m pretty sure that there’s another plate of beignets calling my name, down by the riverside.

Before, during, and after official Tales of the Cocktail sessions (and, in fact, well into the wee hours) one of the best places to find participants is around the Monteleone’s famed Carousel Bar, where the barstools actually revolve around the bartenders. The whole room glitters with classic merry-go-round decor, and a piano player sings old standards under a ’star-lit’ ceiling.

The Monteleone’s signature cocktail is the venerable Vieux Carre, a nod to the hotel’s perfect location in the heart of the French Quarter. A lovely blend of rye whiskey, cognac, sweet vermouth, Benedictine, and two kinds of bitters, this post-Prohibition creation has had a happy home at the Monteleone since its invention in 1938 by head bartender Walter Bergeron.

To sample a Vieux Carre (and plenty of other fabulous drinks), make plans to attend Tales of the Cocktail in July 2009. When you get there, you’ll know where to find us.

Coherent thought is simply too much to ask for after a night of boozing with trained professionals in one of the world’s finest party towns. Even a bag of Zapp’s Cajun Dill Gator-Tators doesn’t seem to be helping to organize my fractured, kaleidoscopic impressions of our first night in Crescent City. And so, expect none from this particular NOLA/Tales virgin.

After we dropped our bags and grabbed our press credentials on Wednesday night, we headed off to the Palace Cafe. A pair of Beefeaters in full costume greeted us, followed by a bright-eyed nymphette wearing a Union Jack halter and not much else. We slipped into the main party area, and fought through teeming crowds to the bar to grab drinks. Properly fortified, we turned to survey the scene and realized that we had jumped a line 25 people long.

Encouraged at getting the week started on the right foot, we pressed on. The next couple of hours flashed by in a whirl of gin and noise as we put faces to the names of electronic friends—many of them posting here.

Eventually we were ready for new scenery so we set sail for Arnaud’s, the second destination of the evening. If the Palace was busy, Arnaud’s was packed. We squeezed in like toothpaste going back into the tube and finally found a slightly-less-insane corner toward the rear. Some friends were already here and as more arrived, I began to feel like I hadn’t really gone anywhere. I had joined a roving celebration that flowed from event to event, from place to place, as if the Quarter wasn’t made of separate buildings and bars, but rooms in a single grand mansion.

Some started the evening at the Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone. We ended there, twirling around the bartenders and mirrored center column as day one turned into day two.

This is the first post from Anita & Cameron Crotty, co-authors of Married …with Dinner, a San Francisco-based food and cocktails blog.

With all the hoopla surrounding Earth Day last week, it’s hard to have missed the news: “Green” cocktails are all the rage, with an ever-growing roster of sustainable spirits available for mixing. Coupled with an increasing interest in seasonal and/or organic fruits, herbs, and tinctures, the green cocktail movement is making new inroads, even outside of its Northern California home. Behind the scenes, too, a cadre of environmentally sensitive bar owners are embracing a more-sustainable approach to doing business, mindful of the impact their establishments make on natural resources.

Perhaps there’s no better embodiment of these ideas than H. Joseph Ehrmann, proprietor of San Francisco’s Elixir. As founder of the Green & Tonic sustainable bars program, H practices what he preaches: There’s always at least one all-organic cocktail on his menu, and he operates the first watering hole certified as a green business by the City of San Francisco. Bar owners and bartenders interested in “greening” their own cocktail operations can learn from H himself, at a Saturday lunchtime session called The Green Seasonal Bar.

The session will also cover the more delectable aspects of the green cocktail movement, courtesy of panelist Bridget Albert. Winner of last year’s Tales Bar Chef Competition and the author of the forthcoming Market-Fresh Mixology, Bridget will guide participants through a bevy of sensational seasonal drinks.

Rounding out the green trio will be Allen Katz, host of “The Cocktail Hour” on Martha Stewart’s Sirius satellite radio channel. As you might expect from a man who combines an abiding love of cocktails with some serious sustainable-food credentials — he’s also chairman of the board of Slow Food USA — Allen will discuss ways that spirits companies can improve the diversity and sustainability of their agricultural and manufacturing processes.

With these three experts leading a lively discussion covering all the bases — and co-sponsorship by Slow Food USA and some of the top names in sustainable spirits: 4 Copas tequila, Maker’s Mark bourbon, and Square One vodka — this session is sure to offer something for every Tales participant.

“The Green Seasonal Bar” takes place Saturday, July 19, at 12:30 pm at the Hotel Monteleone; click here for tickets.